Thursday, February 18, 2010

These made me laugh out loud...

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.The winners are:
1. *Coffee* (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. *Flabbergasted* (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. *Abdicate* (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. *Esplanade* (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. *Willy-nilly* (adj.), impotent.
6. *Negligent* (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. *Lymph* (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. *Gargoyle* (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. *Flatulence* (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. *Balderdash* (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. *Testicle* (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. *Rectitude* (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. *Pokemon* (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. *Oyster* (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. *Frisbeetarianism* (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. *Circumvent* (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


Lacey Devlin said...

Screamingly funny! I'm a huge fan of the Frisbeetarianism and coffee definitions :)

2paw said...

I love the lymph one!! It is very cruel that the word 'lisp' is very hard for people with a lisp to say.

Barbara Hannay said...

LOL, 2paw. I've never thought about that with lisping, but it's so true!!!:)